Source of the photo: www.maternitysale.com.au

Working mothers with children probably do know how the day care system looks like in The Netherlands. Honestly we are not very spoiled. This post will be more dedicated to the future mothers who are planning to start sending their babies to "crèche".

First things first, think about the day care when you are pregnant about 4 months. As the maternity leave in this bicycle country is really short you baby will have first day in the day care when he/she is 3 months. I would highly recommend to find a location close to your house or work which will allow to bring and pick up little one in the suitable time. Please note that normally you need to pick up your child around 18 o'clock, the latest 18:30.

Due to the fact I work in Amsterdam and live in Bloemendaal my son is the first child in the morning and being the last to pick up in the evening. Make a really long day for little man.

Before choosing the location make a appointment and check it by yourself:

• do they have garden?
• are the teachers nice?
• what is the facility?
• how your child will be sleeping?
• do they pay attention to the food schema give by yourself?
• do they have a own kitchen?
• do they consider your will of not given sugars?
• and the most important: intuition and this magical "click"

The last point is crucial also for you as when you are at the office it will give you inside peace that you baby is fine.

I would highly recommend or ask if the day care has a daily app/website or the notebook where they can add comments from the day and photos. There is not always space to talk with the teacher and daily notes will give you a lot information like if he/she ate, slept (how long), went to the toilette, was in the good mood, etc.

I am completely in love in Les Petits and their app: http://www.lespetits.nl/kinderdagverblijf/

Finance: Probably most of you will know that I am going to say...it is not cheap. Unfortunately in situation of grandmother is not so popular here so the only solution is KDV...Based on my experience 3 days is about 1100 EUR. Depending on your and your partner income you will get partial return. If you both have middle range salary or bit above you will get about 250 EUR back.

For myself it is constant game between 3 days, working from home, coming grandparents for one day or possibility of switching to 32 working hours.

Every solution requires a lot of efforts. And you, Dear Mothers? How do you manage combination work+small child(ren)? I am really happy to hear some advices from your end?

Maternity Leave in The Netherlands

Source of the photo: www.keepcalmandposters.com

The maternity leave in The Netherlands I think is one of the shortest in Europe. You have 16 weeks whilst 4 or 6 weeks have to be taken before your delivery date meaning you have just 3 months when your child is born.

It makes quiet stressful for mothers to leave such a small baby with grandma, at the day care, au pairs or gastouder.

Dutch women mostly, which surprised me, are really happy to go back to work and feeling bit trapped at home. On the other hand they work part-time.

In Poland it is really easy to get a sickness leave even before you are showing off, here there is almost no-go. 

You would need to be pretty well organized to make babyroom, manage all visits with the midwife and still keep your working mood high. 

I was bit tired traveling by train and tram with big belly 2-2.5 hours per day. I could not wait to start my leave and in the end I spend first 10 days on well-known "nesting"...cleaning and changing my house from top to bottom and back. When I was done and wanted to rest...my sweet boy arrive next day. In the end I enjoyed 24 hours of doing nothing...Girls, do not make my mistake :)

Do not forget register your child in the city hall- you have 3 days after she/he is born and inform your HR departments (up to 1 week).

How did you spend your maternity leave? How was your first days?

Next topic: something about geboortekartjes.

Working mother or stay at home mother?

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

I think this is the question which many mothers are asking themselves and I am not really sure if there is a good answer to it.

I am staying now with this dilemma and trying to recognize all prons and cons.

Currently have a full time job which is ok, well-paid...it gives me chance to go out, use my brain, years of study, put high heels and feel important. On the other hand, it is a logistic disaster. I think you know what I am talking about...rush, hash, rush, everyday non stop, rushing to get up, to dress, overcome "no, mama, wrong socks, wrong shoes, no jacket or indeed jacket, but not in this color, etc". If I finally catch the train and metro, sit at work, just sometimes gets this quality feeling that my child sits in the day care from 7:30 till 18:30. However it comes just for a moment as work is too busy to think about anything else, than suddenly you are rushing again to catch metro/train/bus, praying there will be no delay, running into the day care like a wet chicken, quick chat and again rushing home to cook, eat and bring little one to bed. I skip the point that once a week I travel whole country to sit in another office 200 km from my home.

The question is, is it worthy? We do not have time to stop, to enjoy, to look at golden leaves, to run through the park or just eat breakfast in peace. I am happy to work, to be attractive to myself and independent, as asking for money is never good choice. But am I nicer and happier mother? Hmm...I seriously doubt.

Another case to go through is the financial point of view. Are we able to go through regular life without one salary, here I mean mortgage, house hold costs, shopping, insurance, cars, holidays, etc. The next is the pension (no supporting it for few years) and health insurance as in The Netherlands it is obligatory to pay it.

Being happy in own life and making kids having good life full of love is very important however it needs to be reviewed carefully.

I know one thing, I have not decided to have child or children and let them bring up by someone else nd never have time to sit with them on the floor and play...I have the feeling that I might regret lost years...

Being mother abroad

Being mother is already difficult task and being mother abroad far away from your family and friends sounds (and is) even harder.

Have you ever cried because you were helpless, angry or just you missed your own mother? I did. It does not matter that father of my child or my parents in-law (by the way the best people I know) were not able to support me, it just mean I was experiencing all those moments of becoming and being mum without one part of my heart.

When you are pregnant you treasure all those times with your partner, which is amazing to hear together first beet of baby's heart or first move. Then it comes more practical and down to earth activity- feeling bad, worse days or just eager to have a coffee, go shopping with your mother/sister/girlfriend. I felt that all of those were taken from me, stolen and no one even warned me. I did all my shopping online, my partner assembled the babyroom, we were in the baby shop twice (sic). He almost run off from the 2nd one :) Moreover when we found out the gender you wanted to celebrate, you want to have this stupid blue/pink cake and balloons but did not. As you have half of your family away you just call and whole magic is kind of gone.

Christmas 2 months before my delivery we have spent with my family in my homeland. Great time, loved it but it came moment of saying goodbye, moment that you know that if first contraction will start you cannot just ask your mum to help, they cannot be in an hour at my place seeing their first grandchild. When W. was born, 2hours later, they saw us on Skype, really emotional and really sad. As W. was born 10 days earlier than expected, he did not meet my parents flight schedule, so we had to wait again 2 weeks and again another 2 till my father comes.

In all those seems to be crazy moments I had to admit to have amazing pregnancy (never felt so good), rather easy labour, wonderful midwife and very supportive partner. I am waiting for a moment to experience this again but this time I want to enjoy it, I want to visit babyshops, want to have blue cake, balloons, confetti and family around. I do not want to hide, I do not want to feel sad, I want to be happy, I want my kids to enjoy ths special time of growing Family, my Family.